Life in Suburbia

I now understand what it really means to "Keep up with the Jones''".  I always understood what the phrase meant, at least as a concept, but never had I felt like I needed to keep up with OR at least be on par with neighbors.  This is mostly because previously they were all nit twit renters who smoked on their balconies or practiced their organ at 7am.  However owning a home seems to flip the switch and suddenly there's so much more to your neighbors than before.  I am going to go out on a limb here and say this is probably because you will live next to one another for many years and you can't help but become aware of their habits and behaviors. 

We definitely take notice of what our neighbors do and it generally does inspire us to make changes or at least not be "that" house.  For instance, our neighbors re-leveled their lawn and put in a new sidewalk to their house.  In comparison our lawn now looks like the neglected mangy mutt on the block.  We thought the lawn was fine when we bought the place, but we have since learned it needs some love and our neighbors, through their lawn care, have shown us that.  Not on purpose, but I would like to think Rob and I are perceptive people and we can tell our lawn is not the star around here.  It's kind of the same way that I felt when I came home one May day and found everyone else's lawns were miraculously mowed and ours was looking forlorn and unattended to.  That night we bought the mower to remedy that problem.

On the flip side we also pay attention to our neighbors behaviors.  Most notable has been who parks where, when they leave for work, how they behave with others, who decorates for the holidays, and when they are gone.  Thanks to being in a town home, most of this is observed through our windows and doors and we pass in and out of our home.  We are especially interested in the behavior regarding the parking habits of one neighbor which seems to offer a lot to talk about.  Probably more than it should except, that's what we do now.  "Did you see where neighbor so and so parked again?  The nerve!"  Or some such phrase comes out.  I could get into why this is so fascinating to us, but I would bore you to tears. 

Tonight we came home to find our recycling bin had "disappeared".  Rob and I are religious recyclers with a full bin out every week.  We have some neighbors that don't bother (how rude!) and others that are on par with us.  Each house was assigned a recycling bin at some point in time.  What people have done with them over time is not my concern.  All I know is we have had one since we got here and we intend to keep it that way.  There was a week sometime over the summer where it was taken, but we were able to snatch it back the next week.  It is my personal feeling if you didn't put one out, you don't get to take one.  If you are missing yours, call the recycling people and get a new one.  Anywho, I went on a rant about who might have theoretically taken ours (again, providing much topic for conversation).  As Rob and I were on our way out for dinner tonight, I saw our recycling bin down on a neighbors lawn.  It wasn't taken into their home and Rob mentioned they didn't set out a bin that morning, just a giant cardboard box.  He went and retrieved it and placed it in our house before we left. Now it will fuel more discussion about these neighbors as they happen to be the same ones with the parking issues.

I think he said it best with, "If you had asked me ten years ago what kind of adventures I expected to having as an adult, 'stealing the recycling bin back from the neighbors' probably would not have made the list."  We have officially been assimilated into life in Suburbia.

Parking In The Snow

We have just survived our first major snow dump of the winter.  Eight inches fell over the course of rush hour here in DC.  This pretty much resulted in catastrophic events for those who were on the road anytime after 3pm.  When people finally did arrive home, hopefully they were greeted with a plowed driveway or parking spot.  For the many however, that was probably not the case.

I spent the better part of two hours clearing what started as one spot and grew to 3.5 when I did not hear from Rob.  Turns out he was stuck in the horrific traffic as was thousands of other people.  I had figured I would continue to shovel just to be nice and let's face it, the plow guy had a bigger task of cleaning the through traffic spots.  Around 7pm, a giant extended cab pick up rolls into the lot as I am about to give up on my shoveling excursion (I am soaking wet, tired, and have about run out of things to shovel.  A guy yells from the back of the truck, "Hey, can we park here?"  The immediate reaction that I had was, umm no jackass you have a huge pick up and can get over the snow banks left by the plow.  But social norms inflict some sort of sensor on me and while I struggle with a polite reason to say no, I can't find one.  "Yeah, but try and get in a spot"  I went over and pointed to the line where the last spot was being cleared from.  They pulled in ignoring that - confirmation you care less about others.  Then the dude says, "I hope you are at least getting paid for this."  When I said no, I think he thought I was high.  Umm, jerkface, not everything needs to be rewarded and some people in fact so things just to be a good neighbor.  Now I have official confirmation that he is just an asshole as he continues to rant on about how silly this is.  I really wanted to lecture him, but I thought better of it and decided to see where my husband was.  Hey, in 3 hours he had made it almost 2.5 miles.  I called it quits and went inside to get warm.

Over the next few days the snow started to melt and people really did make it home (Rob made it at 11:30pm for a total of 7.5 hours).  I was cringing at what people were going to do with their parking spots.  Option 1 - Don't bother cleaning off the car or shoveling out the spot because you either aren't home OR have alternative transportation.  That's ok fine by me.  Option 2 - Grab a shovel and clean out your spot.  This is a great option provided you are not shoveling the snow back into the street and blocking the main thorough fare.  Then you are just an inconsiderate ass.  Option 3 - Wait until someone has shoveled out a spot and left and take theirs because you don't want to lift a finger.  Hmm, probably the worst option you can make, and yet some do.  I believe in karma and that somewhere someday these people will be "rewarded" for being absolute tardbots.  It's not much, but all I can hope for unless I personally slash their tires which has crossed my mind once of twice.

Of course the real trick is getting people to understand where to park.  The nice white parking lines that outline spaces have been buried.  Generally speaking however, there are defined divots where cars have been and the mounds of snow around them.  And yet, there are people who park like this:

An F+ parking job

Not only are you blocking another car from parking next to you, you are sending a clear message to the public that you are a moron.  I am pretty sure they do this because they don't want to get their feet wet.  They park perfectly normal in dry pavement situations and I have seen them park since this photo was snapped Friday.  Same deal.  Get over it!  It's snow!  You won't melt. 

In summary, clean out your spot and parking normal.  Really, the two things are not hard.  They may require some manual labor, but in our couch potato nation, it would be good for you.  Thankfully, winter here is only a couple of months and the number of times you actually deal with this is a few.  Still, don't be an ass.