The Never Ending Quest

Dear People Who Make Jeans & Shorts,

I hate you.


After yet another frustrating shopping trip, I find myself wondering if maybe clothing designers have no idea there are women out there who have a waist AND a butt and that the two are mutually exclusively different sizes!!! I am so tired of trying on bottoms that create that gap in the back. This leads me to believe that many women have either no definable waist or no butt. It drives me nuts! They fit everywhere else until I turn around and see this 4-5" gap from my waist to the back of the bottom. AWESOME! I could totally create a new fashion trend!

I have tried on god knows how many different brands and different fits and come up empty. I have gone to places like Macy's and Marshalls where there are dozens of different designers and cuts available and still had no luck. Every once in a great while, I strike gold though.

Take for instance trying on shorts at Ann Taylor Loft and Banana Republic. The two places I know I can find dress pants that fit. I figured I would pony up $40-$50 on a pair of khaki shorts because I knew they would fit. In both stores I grabbed one of everything and headed to the dressing room. Wouldn't you know it? THEY DON'T FIT! How can their pants fit but the shorts not in the SAME DAMN CUT?!! Maybe the people who make the pants don't talk to the people who make the shorts. Or maybe they think it's summer, you can wing it. I have no idea. This makes absolutely no sense to me. The good news? I found two pairs on pants in Banana Republic that fit like a glove and I got them on sale! Booya! At least it wasn't a total bust.

So I tried my luck at Old Navy because every now and again their stuff fits, but it's on a weird cycle of like once every 4 years. I have bought jeans from them (and The Gap) that I loved and went back 6 months - a year later to find their either discontinued the style or changed the cut. So the last time I bought stuff from Old Navy that fit was about 3-4 years ago. Today I tried on at least a dozen pairs of shorts and tried on a pair of jeans for shits and giggles. Out of 12 pairs of shorts, I found 1 pair. 1 pair! Of course, they do not have my size in any other color I would be caught dead in (hello - lime green? barf), but I have 1 pair of shorts! Oh and the jeans fit too! This time I really did a dance in the dressing room! I thought, I better go back and get a few different washes in this jean because they will change the cut again before too long. I went back out and grabbed the other three washes and what do you know? NONE OF THEM FIT! Same size, cut, and only the wash was different! ARGH! I took my one pair and made a run for it.

So on my 4th trip out this season to find shorts, I returned home with one pair. I am currently in the process of buying different colors online now so I can have some variety. The jeans were a bonus. Now I am sure to have a dry spell for another year or two. At least this time I know to stock up.